Three words a patient and their caregivers don't want to hear are palliative care and hospice. Denial is one of the first things that pops to mind. "She's not even close to needing that type of care," I verbalized. Indignation follows and then emotions merge into anger. The thought that the doctors are giving up made me angry. My mom has had congestive heart failure for over seven years. Her quality of life had been good until last year. She did water aerobics, strength & stretch, and walked unaided most of the time. The last half of 2024 saw Mom go from a cane to a walker, and then to a wheelchair. She became tired easily, had shortness of breath, and her a-fib got worse. She had a pacemaker put in and an ablation, but neither helped the congestive heart failure at all. The doctors have been constantly tweaking her medication to no avail. It has been frustrating for all of us but my mom and my sister, Karen, especially.
In January of 2025 Mom was hospitalized twice in two weeks to help her get rid of the fluid she was retaining. It was the second stay that prompted the doctors to address the need for either palliative care or hospice. Mom was actually relieved they were honest with her. She is getting ready to die. I have not reached the acceptance stage, yet. However, the reality is that Mom needs someone with her 24/7. Most of that responsibility has fallen to my brave, resilient sister. Of course, I am Michael's full-time caregiver, but I am going to continue to help as much as I can. Lance, my brother, is up from Florida this week. He's getting her bills and her will straight. Thank God for both my siblings! Those are certainly not my strengths.
We are meeting with the Palliative Care folks this week to see what they can offer Mom at home, where she wants to be. Please keep my mom, Mary Jackson, in your thoughts and prayers.
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